10 things I have learnt since becoming a parent
I’ve realised truly how much my mum did for me. My.god.I.had.NO.idea. She was once my snack bitch (and I am one of four). I totally only appreciate that now. I love you mama!
2. The beauty of hindsight
I wish I had appreciated my body back when I thought I was fat. Baz Lurhmann and his class of ‘99. He knew. I wish I’d listened but I was 14 and had zero interest in ‘wearing sunscreen’.
3. Easy like Sunday morning
Sunday’s will NEVER be the same. Lazy, hungover lay ins. Kiss those goodbye. We love our family Sunday’s now but sometimes my husband and I fondly recall Sunday’s BC (before children). Ordering pizza for breakfast after a night out, taking our duvet into the living room and watching movies pretty much responsibility free all day. Enjoy that. These are what our Sunday’s now look like.
4. If you think my hands are full you should see my heart
‘You’ve got your hands full’ is definitely the top thing that random people stop me to say! I had no idea I could possibly open my heart so much, multiple times. For a large proportion of my childhood I genuinely believed I couldn’t love anything as much as my budgie, Kiki. I wrote him a poem when he died. ‘To my best friend’.
5. Happy hell-idays
Holidays and plane journeys are a whole new ball game. I’ve had a baby on my lap (and/or been pregnant) the last four years and still another 14 months to go. I’m not going to lie I’m looking forward to my own plane seat with some cheeky bubbles in hand! Holiday prep used to be finalising an outfit for each day, taking a look at the movie schedule for the plane and downloading some new books on my kindle . Now it’s survival first and I’m a maniac with a clipboard in the days leading before, frantically wrapping little toys from charity shops for ‘never seen before’ entertainment on the plane and militarily packing appropriate snacks.
We’ve had our share of holiday dramas – we’ve gone to the wrong airports, missed flights, caused absolute havoc and more – such as when T1 was 2 he got his leg stuck under our plane seat. Picture 1am on a night flight, T1 starts screaming, my husbands on the floor and can’t get him out – tells me he thinks his leg is broken, cue me screaming, the whole cabin crew on the floor under our seats, lights are up, everyone is standing and looking, I’ve passed T2 (about 5months) to a random passenger and I’m on the floor reassuring T1 who is absolutely hysterical… we had our heads well and truly down at 4am through Gatwick security. We seem to create chaos whenever we travel these days.
6. I would walk 500 miles
Who knew it was possible to average 20,000 steps a day, sometimes without even leaving the house. True story.
7. Popping out
Impossible. ‘I’m leaving now’ translates as ‘I’ll be about 45min’ even though you live three roads away. I need to catch the terrors, coat and shoes them, pin T3 into the buggy, chase down the other two – T1 has taken off all his clothes and T2 has taken a poo. Find snacks, nappies and wipes – chuck everything in the car or buggy. Wrestle scooters, dolls in prams or bikes away from them and back into the house (I will be carrying them all alongside the double buggy by the time we get to the end of the road otherwise). Remember how long we will be out and nip back to grab T3’s milk, and another nappy just in case. Forget my own coat even though it’s freezing. Realise I’m wearing slippers, think fuck it and carry on walking. Scream at everyone and wonder why I bothered trying to leave the house.
8. Crafting (and baking..)
Pinterest lies. I have such high hopes every time we start out.
9. Potential schizophrenia
One moment I am parenting the shit out of life – sensory beads and shaving foam – tuff tray in the garden – all having a blast. In a heartbeat it all falls apart and I’m hiding in the bathroom googling how to fake my own coma.
10. The simple life
I never saw marriage in my future. My parents weren’t great adverts for it. I wasn’t broody or interested in babies. I loved to party and thought I’d be way too selfish to be a mum. Then I met my guy and a conversation came up a few years in – future visions. One of his was a family Sunday dinner – his wife and kids around the table. So simple. I was confused. Did he not want to climb a mountain? Explore South America? Do a sky dive? See sea turtles? Learn a new language? I didn’t realise I could feel so content with the simple things until I was married and became a mother. Don’t get me wrong I (& we!) have had amazing ups and heart breaking downs but I wouldn’t change where I am right now for anything. Although I have climbed a mountain.