Mrs B On Being a Banshee
A day in the life of…..
It started well, the sun shone, it felt warm and cosy but by 8am I’m apoplectic with rage. Why am I having the same old boring pointless argument with my husband about where the phone charger is, about why he hasn’t bought tickets for the school concert yet ( I swear I told him and now they’re all sold out…I just know they have! Or did I forget?) and why we have no coffee, again. Frustration, forgetfulness and foul mood.
I lost an hour somewhere, not unusual these days, I was probably at the top of the stairs wondering why I’m there or aimlessly looking in the fridge and concocting special dinners with lashings of arsenic and vitriol for said husband!
Later I find myself at the doctor’s, for a quick simple 10 minute job that should be uneventful. I’m still smarting and feeling emotional from the foolish row earlier and now I’m dreading this. I’m tired and nervous about the pin prick, however, the nurse is a joy. With her calm, efficient and chatty persona, she relaxes me and decides to do it quickly, less time for me to pfaff and relentlessly chat about how it makes me feel faint.
And guess what? I nearly fainted over 10ml of blood. This gem of a nurse asks me how I’m feeling. Hmm…that’s a dangerous question to ask any woman right? I’m stoic in my response “I’m having a bad day, it’s just the menopause”; she sympathetically replies “Just? You need to be kind to yourself”. Well, you can guess what happened next. I break down, I want the floor to swallow me up I feel so foolish, but she is kind and gentle, my feet are raised and with a glass of water I slowly regain my equilibrium. After five minutes I leave and feel thankful for this angel of the NHS but then the s**t really hits the proverbial fan!
The banshee in me
Back at the car park, some inconsiderate jack ass has parked so close to me that I can’t get into my car! Like a true banshee I fling open the passenger door, scrunch up, scramble over the seat and finally flop down in the driver’s seat. Rage, despair, torrential tears follow. A black cloud descends. And here it cometh, my cheeks turn vermillion red, I have a tingling sensation in my forearms which makes my hairs stand up, I have legs like strawberry jelly and I am raging like a women possessed. This seems to continue for an eternity but the chaos in my body and head eventually subsides into sobs and lots of muttered expletives. Deep breath, deep breath, I silently chant, you over reacted. Deciding I have to get home, I turn the key and drive through what seems like the biggest deluge of tears ever.
Me and the Meno-P
I pull up outside my house and check to make sure there are no twitching curtains or friends close by because I look and feel atrocious, lousy, rough but most of all sad.
To call my wobble to the door a dishevelled sprint is no lie, I look like I’ve been on a bender and just got home from the night before. Inside I make a cuppa, eat a brownie and decide something positive has to come out of what has been a horrendous morning, yep that was just the morning.
On a sugar high and with a renewed sense of positivity, I write my first post on social media called “Me and the Meno-P (cos we’re not supposed to say Menopause Sshhh)” and this is the sad part. For as long as I’ve been Menopausal it has always been a taboo subject. Start a chat about this in a public place and there will be a furrowed brow or two, crowds will visibly part like the sea in the bible and you’ll be swallowed whole, ok that’s an exaggeration but you get my drift. Talk about this with your girlfriends and you’ll feel included, it’s a girl gang, you’re not alone. You share stories and crack up so much your tummy will ache and you’ll pee yourself laughing…..just a tiny bit.
There you have it, all the moods and symptoms in one morning:
Emotion, tiredness, forgetfulness, bewilderment, anger, heat and rage.…the Menopause roller-coaster! You’ll be very pleased to hear it’s not always like that morning, they are rare for me but it happens and as the NHS angel said, be kind to yourself.
There are lots of positive times too like setting up my business Mrs B Designs, having the support of my husband (who’s a lovely chap really), family and friends, and my new collaboration with my dear pal Anne and the cerise haired Flamin Nora.
So what or who is Flamin Nora?
Flamin Nora is a fem blog born on a drunken fifty something weekender and questions why this profound natural event that affects women to varying degrees, is so often hidden behind jokes and embarrassment. The menopause is no joke and we shouldn’t be embarrassed by something that is after all, a natural event in our lives. So I’m not hiding, neither is Nora and you shouldn’t either, we should be sharing our stories, helping each other and growing awareness. So c’mon girls let’s get it out there, be loud, be proud and be positive!