‘Once you’re a parent, your whole life is going to change’. That’s what everyone kept telling me in the run up to the twins’ arrival. And wow, they were not wrong. In my head I thought ‘it can’t be that bad? Surely I can still have my little set ways and get the babies to loosely fit into our routines?’
HAAAAAA! Sorry, excuse me whilst I laugh at my pre-parent naivety. I hate to break it to all of those parents-to-be…but life really does change when you have babies, quite a lot. Actually, more than you can imagine.
Being a twin mama has brought along its smiles, hilarities and tribulations. As we have survived keeping the babies alive for 14 months now *high five to that!* I stopped to reflect on how much our lives have really changed over the past year.
So here are the things that I love about being a twin mama vs what I miss about my child-free life:
What I love vs. what I miss
I miss: Being able to make spontaneous plans. I now need at least three weeks notice, and even then I may not actually make it. Probably due to either the babies being sick, I’m exhausted or I’ve been pooed on.
I love: Having baby snuggles on the sofa. Their tiny little bodies wrapped around me is everything. I could sit there all day.
I miss: How I used to sleep all night. ALL night. Uninterrupted, eight hours of blissful sleep. I miss sleep.
I love: The babies’ gummy, dribbly smiles first thing in the morning (even if they’ve kept me awake all…night…long…)
I miss: My life not being centered around having to wash and sterilise 14 bottles or change 10-16 nappies a day, wash millions of baby clothes daily (HOW can there be that much laundry when their clothes are so small?) or endlessly clear up vomit.
I love: When the babies look at each other and smile. Ahhh it makes me go all mushy inside.
I miss: Not having to go on quests to extract the biggest baby bogie from the smallest of nostril, just to be sure that it doesn‘t stop them from breathing #newmamaanixety
I love: That newborn baby smell. There is nothing more delightful.
I miss: Drinking copious amounts of Prosecco like an irresponsible teenager.
I love: Checking in on the babies at night and seeing them sleep so peacefully (although how many times do you check they’re still breathing?!)
I miss: Having real adult conversations. Now my husband and I have a daily exchanges of: ‘what colour was his poo this time? Was it runny or solid? How many poos has he had so far today? Did you SMELL that last nappy??’ Romance, right there.
I love: The smell of the babies straight after a bath. So clean and fresh.
I miss: Not being able to be hungover and feel sorry for myself whilst binging on a whole bucket of fried chicken and watching back-to-back episodes of Marple.
I love: How funny it is when the babies pass wind…they are SO loud (and it normally happens when I’m out and about…).
I miss: Being able to fit into my tiny clothes (why is it that you always think you’re overweight and then when you look back you realise that was total nonsense?).
I love: Not feeling so self-obsessed as I now have two tiny babies to look after.
I miss: Having money to spend on unnecessary items (normally wine…).
I love: Earning money for a real purpose.
I miss: Having free time. Instead it’s a 3-hour schedule: feed, change, sleep, repeat. What did I used to do before having babies?? I wasted SO much time doing nothing…
I love: When they smile and their tiny pegs start showing through their gums. So cute.
I miss: How I could leave the house without a care in the world. Now it’s spending 4 hours getting ready to leave (Nappy bag? Tick. Changing mat? Tick. Bottles? Tick. Extra sleep suits? Tick? Two babies? Errr…tick) only to spend approximately 48 minutes out, before you retreat back because the babies are screaming and you’re exhausted.
I love: Proudly taking our babies out and about. Although being a twin mum means everyone talks to you…Yes, they are twins, yes it’s a boy and a girl, no of course they’re not identical…it’s a boy and a girl…
I miss: Not having to get dressed in stages as there’s a baby crying / someone’s vomited / I need to express / one baby has got hold of something that they shouldn’t have (how do they do that?) All I want to do is change my underwear, is that so much to ask?
I love: Watching the twin relationship begin to develop. How lucky are they to have each other?
I miss: Not being able to buy clothes because they now count as a luxury item.
I love: Buying new sleep suits for the babies to wear. They always look so adorable in them.
I miss: Spending all of my time with Pete, my friends and family.
I miss: Enjoying a hot, leisurely cup of coffee. Instead I now make one of two choices: drink it straight from the kettle and get third degree burns, or have it next week. Either of the two is never appealing.
I love: That their little personalities are already shining through. We most definitely have a mini me x2! (Beatrice is definitely a go-getter and Francis is chilled and very calm).
I miss: Going in and out of shops without thinking twice about the environment set up. Now I regularly get anxious about finding toilets that are big enough to fit me and a double pram into when I’m out and about, or worried that I may not be able to get through the doors of a particular shop. The struggle is real.
I love: The joy the twins bring not only to our lives but to our family’s lives too. Seeing the babies with their extended family is the cutest thing.
I miss: Being able to watch the TV and not snot cry into my Kleenex at some missing cat or a slightly sombre piece of music. Blimmin‘ hormones.
I love: Learning all about motherhood. Every day is most definitely a school day.
I miss: Not having a night where I would check on the babies 17 times to make sure that they’re still breathing (I’m sure I will always do this…).
I love: Meeting other mums and learning new tips and tricks from them.
I miss: Napping all weekend (can you tell I miss sleep?).
I love: Trying to make our babies giggle. Once you’ve learnt the formula you can’t help yourself but keep going back and trying to make them laugh again and again and again.
I miss: Being able to have a long shower (when I say long, I mean, more than 3 uninterrupted minutes. Now I just rush in and out of the bathroom mid shampoo because the baby monitor is going berserk).
I love: Being able to be the person who can comfort my babies.
I miss: Looking youthful. Post babies, I now look like a haggard old woman with bags bigger than Aldi and sprouting grey hairs growing out of my head. Sleep deprivation is not kind to you.
I love: Having this excuse of being a ‘new mum’ so the messy mum bun is now acceptable.
I miss: How my body once was strong and fit…I still can’t kneel on the floor or twist too quickly. A multiple pregnancy is not for the faint hearted.
I love: How tiny their little hands and feet are. How can it be possible?
I miss: Smelling of Chanel perfume and Neal’s Yard hand lotion. Baby milky vomit doesn’t quite have the same aroma.
I love: That my husband Pete still loves me, even in this post-baby whirlwind.
What Do You Love and Miss?
What do you love about being a mama? What are the things you miss from your child-free life?