How am I going to survive my first night away from baby?

(Part 2)

by Keelie

Keelies Fertility Journey


Leaving baby for the first time – Part 2

I did it! I pulled on my big girl pants and was brave!

Logan had his 1st sleepover at Granny and Grandad’s house, while Matt (my husband) and I spent our 2nd wedding anniversary at a fancy local hotel and had a gorgeously romantic 3 course meal at The Ivy. We had such a lovely time, being able to connect as a couple again and we thoroughly enjoyed the lie-in the following morning!



I knew this was going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, leaving Logan. I cried my eyes out on the first day I left him to return to work, my mother-in-law had to basically push me out the front door! But I knew he would have so much fun with Granny and Grandad and at 16 months old, it was definitely time.

I found myself tearing up whilst packing his bags. I’d written a list to keep me super organised and to keep my mind busy. I’ve found if I give myself time to think when I’m feeling emotional then it just makes me even worse. We headed over to Matt’s parents’ house, giving ourselves plenty of time to get Logan settled and run through his night-time routine. As well as having a general chit-chat and a brew (I am a Northerner after all haha!)


When the time came for us to leave…

…we said our goodbyes and thank yous. Gave Logan a big kiss… and then I burst into floods of tears and had to run out the door, for fear of never leaving him at all! I stood at the end of my in-law’s driveway doing that awful, uncontrollable, hysterical cry, I couldn’t breathe or speak. I was a mess. Poor Matt didn’t know what to do or say to calm me down, he even suggested we call the whole thing off and try again another time! After what felt like a lifetime, I managed to calm down and we got in the car. I cried for the whole 20 minutes’ drive to our hotel and must have looked an utter state by the time we got to our room!

We checked in at our hotel and went straight for a coffee in their bar to keep me distracted. I resisted the urge to text for an update on Logan, I’d decided it would only make me worse to be constantly checking on him. So, we got ourselves dolled up and off we went!



Reflecting on my previous post

‘How Am I Going To Survive My First Night Away From Baby’, I had given some tips to help with this huge milestone.

These were:

  • Write a list of things to pack for baby, including any toys from home (if baby is staying at someone else’s house)
  • Give contact information of places you are going/staying (this way you won’t need to be checking your phone all night for updates)
  • Give a specific time that you will text/call to check in, then put your phone away
  • Leave instructions of baby’s routine (if not already known)
  • Start small and work your way up (my mother-in-law had to hug and push me out the door on my first day back to work because I couldn’t stop crying and refused to leave him!)
I’m a big lover of lists

To-do lists, packing lists, I just love feeling really organised and on it. So I absolutely made a packing list for Logan’s bag to make sure I didn’t forget anything.

I decided not to give contact information for our hotel or The Ivy as I had my mobile with me at all times, but my in-laws did know where we were staying and knew how to contact us at all times (just incase).

I didn’t give a specific time to contact my in-laws but did say I would text in the evening to check on how Logan was doing. Logan’s bedtime is 7pm, so my aim was to text then to see if he’d settled okay. I didn’t actually text them until around 10pm, Logan had been a little angel and even gave them a lie-in!

I’m lucky that my in-laws already have Logan a couple of days a week while I’m working, so they have his day-time routine down to a T! We ran through his bedtime and morning routine with them before we left, I didn’t need to write it down for them as there honestly wasn’t much to tell them haha. Plus, with them having him from roughly 8am – 6pm, there isn’t much of his routine that they didn’t already know!

I was incredibly sceptical about these tips when I first wrote them down. But I have to say, these tips were incredibly helpful for me, they kept my mind occupied but distracted at the same time. I was focused on the things that needed my attention, but I was also able to switch off enough that I could enjoy myself and some couple time with Matt.



I probably won’t be racing to the door for Logan to have another sleepover anytime soon. However, it’s given me peace that I can leave him, and not only will he enjoy himself… but so will I!

Much love

Keelie xx

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