“You become what you believe. You are where you are today in your life based on everything you have believed”
I’m sure we’re all familiar with phrases like “what you believe, you achieve” and “believe you can and you’re halfway there”.
And I’m a firm believer (pun fully intended) that they are completely spot-on.
These phrases are true whichever way you spin it – negative beliefs are just as powerful as positive beliefs. The important thing for us is to recognise which beliefs are helpful and which are holding us back. Because here’s the thing – we can CHANGE our beliefs to help us achieve what we want in life. Yes, really.
Often, we are brought up by our caregivers and society to think that beliefs are fixed; that they are somehow inherent. Whilst I agree that we inherit beliefs from others, it’s important to check in and be honest with ourselves about whether they are true for us as individuals. Until we are open to this possibility it is very likely that at some point, we’ll find ourselves feeling ‘stuck’.
Take me as an example: I’m a Well-being Coach
Self-employed, with a flourishing business, and Happy; I absolutely LOVE my job and the life I’ve created. I used to be a children’s mental health nurse. I was fully employed, with a good salary, for TWENTY years. But I ended my previous career feeling deeply frustrated, empowered and sad about the system I was working in and the quality of what I was limited to deliver, to the very people who needed it most.
So what changed? Whilst employed, I believed that the best way of working was as part of a bigger system – one that was free, I might add. Back then, I believed there was only one way to help people and that there were only certain people who needed assistance. Then, I began to notice feelings of doubt, annoyance and fear creep in… What if this was it? What if I had to do this for ever? What if there were even more funding cuts, increasingly complex problems and falling standards? My belief in the ‘one way’ of serving ‘one group’ of people was beginning to disintegrate.
Eventually, I began to dream that there may be another option
One of freedom and self-employment and applying my own experiences, principles and standards to the services I provide. But how? When? Where? I simply couldn’t get my head around it; it seemed completely unreachable and something I just wasn’t capable of. So how then, did I end up sitting here, writing a coaching blog, seeing incredible clients every day and helping them improve their lives in achievable and hugely positive ways? I. Changed. My. Beliefs.
Learning to believe something new is a big deal… Is it easy? Not always (though it’s not always difficult either). Do you have to work hard at it? Yes. Is it something we have to keep doing? Most definitely! I had help – I took advice, I talked to friends and family who reminded me I could do it, I read LOADS and researched ‘til my eyes felt like they were bleeding and my brain thought it would explode. And I found myself a fantastic coach. Someone whose sole job it is to help you achieve what you want to achieve, realise your dreams, uncover what’s holding you back and re-shape your beliefs into ones which will support you to accomplish the very things you want to see and feel in your life.
If you’re at the point where you’re feeling stuck…
… you’d like to make a change, you’re considering a big business decision, you already know what’s blocking you, or you’re simply feeling a bit ‘meh’ and can’t put your finger on why, you could benefit by exploring your beliefs. Here are some suggestions for where to start:
- Think about the top 3 negative beliefs you have about yourself, your business or your life. Be honest and dig deep.
- Taking each negative belief in turn, ask yourself:
a) how does this belief make me think, feel and behave? And,
b) how would I think, feel and behave without this negative belief?
- Now write down the opposing positive belief for each of your 3 negative beliefs. (For example, if your negative belief is “I’m not worthy” change it to “I am worthy”
- Say these 3 positive statements (aka affirmations) OUT LOUD. With conviction, heart and like your truly believe them.
- Repeat daily as many times as you can. OUT LOUD, remember!
Be curious about what changes. You may find that new doors open up, other opportunities become possible, that your actions, thoughts and feelings become more focused and driven towards realising what you want.
I’d also suggest getting a coach. Choose someone who you like, who you feel you can relate to, and who shows you that they ‘get’ where you’re at and where you want to be. It is the single, most important thing I have done for my business and my life – and I am now living a more genuine, contented, peaceful, healthy and happy life that I ever was before. I now get to coach others; I get to see them thrive, I get to help them open up a world of possibilities, I get to cheer-lead and support them and buzz off their excitement and satisfaction at finding out what they’re capable of. And the other result? I get to write this, and if that helps one other person or even more, then it’s so, so worth it.