Stay at Home Mum Guilt
We have all felt it at some point, and probably will many more times by the time our children are adults.
Lots of parents return to work during the first year of their child’s life, some out of choice and some out of necessity. Whatever the reason, it is often said a certain level of guilt comes with this. The guilt that you are “leaving” your child, someone else is helping to raise them, that you may miss milestones or that they may be missing you or need you.
These are all common feelings and thoughts that lots of parents have. They are recognised feelings and people often sympathise with them. However, something which I believe is less spoken about is the “mum guilt” felt by a stay at home mum.
As a stay at home mum, I have often felt this guilt and wondered if I am doing the right thing by not returning to work.
Will it hold him back?
People often comfort those returning to work by saying that going to a Nursery or childminders etc. will be amazing for them. How children come out of their shell and learn so much. How children who attend nursery have great speech and it is brilliant for their development. So by not sending Zac to nursery am I holding him back? Will he struggle when he does eventually start nursery or school? Will he not reach his milestones as quickly?
Am I doing enough with him?
Children who attend nurseries or go to a childminder get to experience so many different things. They get to play with toys and games that they don’t have at home. They get to interact with lots of different people. They have structured activities designed to aid development and stimulate their minds.
At home, I am often the only interaction Zac has. The only games and activities he gets to do are those which I set up. So am I doing enough with him? Am I playing the right games? Are the activities beneficial to his development?
I also have to maintain the house, do washing and shopping – am I dedicating enough time to him? I can’t give him my undivided attention all day.
Can I give him the same luxuries?
By not returning to work I am sacrificing an income. We have less money than we did previously. Does that mean Zac is missing out compared to other children? Can I buy him the same toys? Do other children get more? Will he have less Christmas presents? Can we afford to take him on days out or holidays?
As parents, we always question our decisions and wonder if we have made the right ones. Ultimately we are just trying to do what is best for our children and families. There is no right or wrong decision regarding returning to work. We just need to do what is best – either way our children will be happy and loved which is all that matters.
Whichever decision you made, whether your a working mum or stay at home mum – don’t feel guilty YOUR AMAZING!