With the passing of new laws last month that effectively ban any form of termination in several states of America being a stark warning for women’s rights, I think it’s time that we talked honestly about abortion.
I’ve always been pro-choice.
Your body, your decision.
But I never thought I would actually have to make that choice myself.
If you don’t follow me on the ‘gram I’ll give you a bit of history! I’m a mum to two gorgeous babes, now aged five and six and have been a single mum since my youngest was very tiny, due to their dad sadly having an inoperable brain tumour and the complications that went with that. I casually dated people but then to cut a long story short, boy meets girl, boy promises girl the world, girl leaves her house and gets rid of all her things, moves in with boy, boy changes his mind three months in.
Not your classic happy ending.
It was the week before the London Marathon which I was running for Brain Tumour Research, my Grannie had just died, the children’s Dad had been very poorly in hospital…and I was now homeless with two children.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think that at thirty six I would be pregnant and homeless with two small children. This was something that happened to irresponsible teenagers wasn’t it?! Not actual grown ups? After an agonising time weighing up my options I decided that the best thing for us was to not continue with the pregnancy, especially with the only contact about being pregnant that I had from the father in the weeks after I told him, was a message effectively asking for more proof that I was pregnant.
I’m not going to go into all the reasons why I felt that a baby at that time was 100% not the right decision for everyone involved, but the point is that I had a choice. I was able to choose what to do with my own body and every woman should be entitled to make her own decision without a bunch of suited men in an office without a uterus between them deciding what’s best for her.
We need to talk more. I really debated whether to write this post and talked it out with people before committing to it. The more people I spoke to, the more stories I heard and the more reassured I was that I wasn’t alone and the less worried I became about being judged. Some people felt it was too personal a story to share in the public domain but that’s exactly why I felt it should be shared. We need to feel confident in talking without judgment and the more these conversations are had, the less taboo they become. When women support other women, something really special happens.
There’s no shame in deciding what’s best for you and you are absolutely not alone.
Your body, your life, your choice.